Building Trust When We Don’t Practice What We Preach

Building trust can sometimes be difficult when are are seen to be giving advice and obviously not taking our advice personally.

  • When was the last time you took a full 1hr lunch break?
  • Did you have a proper breakfast this morning, or was it a bagel while you were in a hurry?
  • Do you check your email late at night?
  • How much do you stretch at home? Exercise? Meditate? How many glasses of water do you drink?
Is it always “Do as I say”?

Here’s an interesting story of a friend of mine.

A couple of years ago when he was on holiday, visiting family in my small country town. Unfortunately during the holiday he fell sick, and needed to make a quick visit to his old family doctor.

Having lived away from the town for a long time, he hadn’t seen this particular doctor for almost ten years. When he did go to see him, he was in for a bit of a shock. 

Already a large man at 6 ft 3, he found that the smiling and enthusiastic man he use to know had put on quite an enormous amount of weight over the years.

He must have been twice the size he was from the last time he saw him. This was surprising to begin with, but it wasn’t until he started talking to my friend that the impression really stuck out.

My friend recalled being concerned that he sounded extremely unwell. It appeared to take a lot of effort to breath and move around, and he was admittedly very distracted by the doctor’s ragged breathing during the entire consultation.

Ironically, while asking specific questions about my illness, he also asked about my health and fitness routine, and encouraged me to exercise and eat well as a way of boosting my immune system!  

No-one is perfect

In reality this is a common experience for many patients that come to see practitioners. We are not all saints.

“Practice what you Preach” is all well and good, but none of us are perfect and all have our vices.

However as Health Practitioners, we need to understand that we are constantly communicating unconsciously with our patients. The conversation my friend had with his GP was an awkward conversation due to the obvious disparity between his actions and words – this disparity was distracting. It served to distract my friend sufficiently during the consultation that he obviously fell out of rapport with the doctor. 

Buil

This comes essentially down to building trust. We intrinsically trust a person who is able to do the very thing they’re advising us on.

Just as we would be very reluctant to accept financial advice from a broker if we found out their finances were terrible, we’re also hesitant to accept advice from someone who appears not to practice what they preach.

However – an acknowledgement of “the elephant in the room” will go a long way to keep that rapport with your patients. A health practitioner needn’t be an open book to their patients, but a casual or even joking comment about ‘not following your own advice’ would have not only broken the ice and eased the tension, it would have done a lot to maintain rapport with his patient. 

Smooth it over

Whatever the advice, acknowledging any disparity between what you say and what you do can keep the rapport and build trust when simply brushing over it can so easily damage it. 

If you have any other suggestions that might help readers please add your comments below.

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